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When it comes to approaching woman a lot of men are clueless as to the appropriate ways of doing it whether at a club party or even on the street.  I am sure at one time or another many of you are wondering on what are the etiquettes dos and don’ts.  Gentlemen you are not alone….. Having been the receiving end of some of these encounters.  I can say that most men have no idea on how to strike up a conversation with a woman who intrigues them.  Since the bar/club scene is where most the action happens we’ll start by discussing the best approaches to the worst in a nightclub. Keep in mind however that when you are at a bar/club you have a greater advantage to approaching a woman that catches your eye as opposed to a bookstore or café.  At a nightclub the environment invites social communication and you have all night to break the ice.   Don’t celebrate just yet bar/clubs are great places to start but there are some negative stigma attached to men on the prowl at a nightclub.

So how do you successfully approach a woman? Some key steps to remember:

1)      Look Approachable: most men have no idea that they put on a “don’t mess with me” look and we follow suit….. Unless you’re strolling along a dangerous neighborhood or a dark alley this should not be the face you put forth when trying to meet women.

2)      Engage and be involved with the people around you instead of standing against a wall or alone at the corner of the bar (this may be seen as creepiness).  Chat with people you came with strike up a conversation with the guy next to you this will shake off the vibe of a guy on a mission just to meet women.

3)      Change your attitude: focus on just out to have fun. The more focus and determination you put on meeting women the more nervous you will get.  And yes we can sense that.  There’s nothing more unattractive then a man acting out of desperation.

4)      Eye Contact:  try to keep your eyes on hers and not aimed at her breasts.  You want her to think you’re the interesting/funny guy not the fraternity boy out to put another notch on his belt…..Eye contact is key when used the right way.

5)      Be Non-chalant:  when you do actually approach her do it in a casual friendly manner.  Light and breezy is the way to go.  Start out with something funny this would be a good ice-breaker provided she has a good sense of humor. 

6)      Mr. Rico Suave: acting like Mr. Smooth Operator doesn’t really impress us.  We can see right through it! Just be yourself.  There’s nothing more unattractive then an overly confident guy acting as if he’s doing us a favor by talking to us.

7)      The Re-bound Thrower: if you strike out with the first woman you approach don’t throw the same lines to the woman right next to her. I’m not saying you have only one chance to succeed all night but don’t go to every woman as if it’s your last night.

      101 Pick-up lines: “you must be tired you’ve been running through my mind all day "or “whats our sign.” Don’t even go there……

9)      Clinging To a Women: just because she agrees to let you buy her a drink doesn’t mean you can follow her around all night!  This may seem as borderline stalking and a major turn-off.  The best approach?  Strike up a conversation with her at the beginning of the night buy her a drink excuse yourself and find her at the end of the night to ask her how her evening went.

10)  Setting her at Ease: don’t forget her comfort zone just because you know you’re a nice/great guy doesn’t mean she will.  It is important to remember that women automatically put up their defenses when a guy approaches them. They become more critical and irritable.  So how do you get a woman to drop these defenses? Don’t try to pick her up, just talk to her throw in a little humor that always help.